I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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