foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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