I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
