Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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