Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
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