why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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