How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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