Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Even my vagina gasped.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
wow bdsm is so cute
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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