Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Randomize
