When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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