I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
