why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
