So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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