Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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