i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize