I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
