That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
