3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
