Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
