Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize