I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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