We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
