i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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