I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
