i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
