Me too!
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
