i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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