wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
