the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
