When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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