I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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