Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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