My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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