Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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