Everything about him screamed your future.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
