Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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