Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
