I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Even my vagina gasped.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
