Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
