Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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