I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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