we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
