I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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