she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
