I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
