i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
