you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
