All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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