so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
there was a trapeze. enough said
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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