Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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