he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
