if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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