I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
