sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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