dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
