I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
