What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
