Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
