We're facebook friends in real life
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize