i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
