Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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