Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
