You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
