dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize