A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
