she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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