what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Randomize
