After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
