I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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