I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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