to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
