I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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