P.S. I can't hear my feet
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Randomize