Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
